The Inner Child  — The Key to Spiritual Awakening

The Inner Child  — The Key to Spiritual Awakening

When the school teacher asked me in front of the class what profession I wanted to pursue, the inner child in me replied: “I don’t want to become anything in this corrupt world.” Later on, when forced into mandatory disciplinary commando camp for military training, the commander thrusts a rifle in my hands, and shouted at me to shoot the target: “Kill the filthy Kraut.” In revolt to these angry words, I threw my rifle on the ground and spent a week in a dark cell for “disobedience to the homeland.” These events initiated in me a need for unconditional freedom which severed the umbilical cord connecting me to the world of adults and society. More importantly, it triggered in me the search for the meaning of life and to discover if such a thing existed outside of this collective conditioning, in a world mechanized by materialistic values, caught in the soulless and heartless cycle of economic life. I will not dwell on all the adventures that followed thereafter, what has been said is enough to substantiate the psychoanalytic truth of the importance of “rediscovering” or “reconciling” with the inner state of innocence of a child.

An extreme context, one of great adversity, is often the occasion for a new beginning, self-transcendence and an awakening towards new horizons. Conversely, when everything goes well in the mediocrity of comfort and routine, the bourgeois spirit usually settles pompously within us, leading us into a stagnant existence, not much more evolved than that of an animal, bound by the rigid laws of conformity that protect and help accumulate our capital.

The emotional suffering caused by a world structured around the common denominator of hypocrisy, competition, and possession—with no regard, in its pretentious vulgarity, for what is true, beautiful, magical, vulnerable, and simple—was, in my case, decisive for awakening a spiritually inclined sensitivity that has never left me. In the subway, the child within me wept at the sight of this busy, nervous world, pushing and shoving to get ahead… A thirst for purity brought tears to my eyes; heartbroken, I neither wanted nor could conform to the mould of adulthood. If I had not found this inner light, I would have long ceased to be part of this world. However, I later learned that others are a good indication of what we are within ourselves—our qualities and flaws—and that this non-dual vision of reciprocity is the best means of progressing on the spiritual path.

I did not have to “rediscover” or “reconcile” with this inner child because, in my rejection of the world, in my refusal to try to adapt to it or to “find my place” within it, I never lost it. And since there was nothing left but this essence of being (the presence of the non-individualized divine soul), it exalted itself naturally and became the guiding ruler of my existence in the adventure of life. What I discovered, by remaining connected to this essence of being, is that it contains the true security that depends on nothing for happiness. Within it lies our unlimited potential—one that will one day become a divine individuality, surpassing the ego, our external consciousness. Unknowingly, at first, our inner child moves instinctively towards Being. Sharing the same essence, in the adventure of the Real, the child within is irresistibly drawn to Being like a magnet toward its destination, where the magic of life dances, where true treasures are hidden.

The inner child is, therefore, the true captain of our destiny, partaking the essence of the Infinite Being, it spontaneously and naturally moves toward that which it is intrinsically destined to become. It is fear that has constructed the adult world, confined within the false security deified on the altar of Money and Power. In a vulnerability of being, the innocence of the inner child disarms the apparent invulnerability of our materialistic arrogance, which, like a sandcastle, crumbles with the rising tide of the Real. Today, we are witnessing the collapse of our consumerist civilization under the very weight of its insatiable greed. The inner child, unconcerned with constructions and formulas of adulthood, fearlessly follows one’s dreams, finding in each experience a gold mine of discoveries that carry one ever further into the revelation of the mystery of the present, where the eternal always remains manifold, multidimensional. This eternal-present, in which the inner child navigates, differs from the unilateral experience of the present in our society, which is anchored in the repetitive past.

“The natural attitude of the psychic being is to feel itself as the Child, the son of God, the Bhakta; it is a portion of the Divine, one with Him in essence (…).” — Sri Aurobindo

I associate the inner child with Sri Aurobindo’s concept of the psychic being, a spark of the transcendent Divine, manifested in our world to reunite with the Divine flame, that will one day replace the ego through the discovery of our true being. The Mother, founder of Sri Aurobindo’s ashram, expresses in such simple terms this ineffable truth, of which the child is the living vessel:

“It is said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul; this is a common saying, but if the eyes do not express the psychic being, it means that it is far in the background, veiled by many things. Look carefully at the eyes of small children, and you will see a kind of light—people call it candor—but it is so true, so true, gazing at the world in wonder. Well, this wonder is the wonder of the psychic being, which sees the truth but understands little of the world because it is too distant from it. Children have this, but as they learn, as they become more intelligent, more educated, it fades away, and you begin to see all kinds of things in their eyes: thoughts, desires, passions, even malice—but this little pure flame is no longer there. And you can be sure that it is the mind that has taken over and that the psychic being has retreated far behind.”

The psychic being, which reveals itself in the child who has not yet been conditioned by adults, is the divine spark that lies deep within our inner being. Its discovery within our nature gives an authentic meaning and a luminous direction to our lives, which are otherwise lost in the labyrinth of darkness formed by the half-knowledge of our minds. Once liberated, this inner child undergoes a spiritual formation, which, in fulfilment, becomes true individuality. Thus, the inner child is at first only a spiritual presence of divine essence, which later grows and becomes a distinct individuality of divine nature. This is the individuality that Sri Aurobindo calls the psychic being, the true being, which is neither the ego nor the mind.

Krishnamurti speaks of a creative discontentment; Sri Aurobindo of a divine discontent. This is not the ordinary discontent of grumbling egos who constantly crave for more—more money, more sensations, more gadgets—living in a state of dissatisfaction driven by envy for what others possess. What we are talking about here is a creative, divine discontentment that arises from our deeper being, from our disappointment with what humanity has become in its smallness of mind, in our existence reduced to national borders, proud of our flags and power, in our need to exploit, to colonize, to enrich ourselves, to compare, to dominate… and the list is far from exhaustive. This divine discontentment is of an entirely different nature, for it is not about a quantitative modification in the relentless pursuit of “more,” but rather a radical shift, inspired by the psychic being, in the orientation of our being. Only through the dissolution of the ego within the inner child, which symbolizes the purity of being—not in a moralistic sense, for morality is often nothing more than disguised immorality—can a new world be born.

Our self-centred life, governed by our vital-emotional nature—the centre of desire and greed—and by the vital-mind, which subordinates reason to the needs of the body and its appetites (possession, sensation, pleasure, sex, ambition), is responsible for our present world, which is disintegrating under the weight of clashing appetites and opposing interests. Furthermore, interest is always conflictual, for even when it serves a good cause, it remains self-centred. The discovery of the inner child whose inherent virtues of innocence, pure joy, universality of being, selflessness, compassion can lead to a threefold harmony: individual, collective, and planetary. Through the action of this creative discontentment, it is possible to transform oneself into a new being of divine nature, for whom the inner child serves as an initiatory passage.

The orientation of the inner child is of an entirely different nature from that of the adult world, which is structured around the values of the ego. This is why the rediscovery of the lost state of innocence is only a step towards pure, unconditioned Being. Spiritual transformation does not take place within the mental and vital ego, but through the change initiated by the inner being. It is the return to the Source that has the power to transform. The conditioned ego, through its own efforts can only modify its conditioning; this is merely a change in appearances without touching the essence of being. The discovery of the child within oneself brings forth many qualities and virtues, but these are only steps for further development and transformation.

What is at stake here is a far more delicate operation than a harmonious progression within the mental-emotional framework; it is a radical transformation of the very centre of perception. Through the encounter with the timeless, infinite being, perception opens to an expression within temporal experiences. This transformation alters our vision of the world, making it holistic and inseparable from our nature: others are perceived as another oneself, unique in themselves yet partaking of the same essence. By embracing the infinite, the psychic being lives its existence from the wholeness that is an integral part of its being; without the slightest separation, it becomes the universal individual. It is through this shift in the centre of consciousness—from the ego to the psychic being—that harmony and the joy of being arise spontaneously. The infinite has found an expressive channel within the psychic being, the vehicle of the Divine in the manifested world.

The Purusha-Prakriti (Being-Nature), a concept from the wisdom of the Vedas and Upanishads, can help us in the difficult yet crucial understanding of the distinction between the ego and the psychic being. Purusha is both the timeless, unmanifested Being (original and eternal) and the temporal Being manifested through Nature. When manifested, the Being hides within the play of forms created by Nature. Our ego results from the identification of the being with the forms of Nature. Thus, our ego is not entirely false, but in our non-perception and ignorance of Being we are shaped exclusively by Nature and remains subject to her activity. The ego is therefore a product of Nature, an ignorant consciousness confined and identified in the realm of forms, seeking itself in the world of appearance. Therefore, its knowledge cannot escape ignorance because it remains ensnared in the veiling of Nature’s forms.

The psychic being (the liberated inner child), however, is not a product of Nature. It does not arise from Ignorance through identification with forms—it is a portion of the pure, unconditioned Being, a divine spark originating from the Transcendence. It is not, like the ego, fashioned by Prakriti (Nature). Rather, it is the expression of the incarnate truth of Being within the temporal Becoming of Nature. What transcends Nature is pure Truth; what results from Nature’s conditioning is truth subject to the play of forms. The ego is the luminous shadow of this truth—meaning that even in its ignorance, it is sustained by the light of the Being, which will one day lead it to its liberation and enlightenment.

This is why, in the previous paragraph, the notion of a shift in the centre was emphasized—to convey that personal development under the guidance of Nature alone cannot bring about this transfer of centre. The ego, a temporary centre created within phenomena and subjected to them, must give way to the psychic being, the immortal divine centre, present behind the phenomena of Nature and directing them. It is the return to the Source that initiates this shift of centre. In this light, the inner child is not meant to progress toward a balanced, fulfilled ego, but rather to open to another dimension of being—beyond the ego, disidentified from our body-mind, which then becomes merely an instrument for expressing pure truth.

To become conscious of these truths is to awaken within us the correct vision of the spiritual perspective which, by reconnecting us with the liberated inner child, will open the door to divine light. Let us meditate together on the profound truths expressed by Sri Aurobindo in this key passage, which reveals the discovery of our true centre—where the infinite and the finite converge in divine union:

“But man is not conscious of the self or jîvatman; he is only conscious of his ego or of the mental being that directs his life and body. Yet, by going deeper, he can become conscious of his soul or psychic being as his true centre, the Purusha in the heart. The psychic being is the central being in evolution, it emanates from the jîvatman, a portion of the Divine, and represents it. In the state of full consciousness, the jîvatman and the psychic being unite.”

The jîvatman is the Self or unborn pure spirit, a fragment of the transcendent Divine, existing above our earthly manifestation. The psychic being, a spark of the Divine, is its representative within the manifestation. It operates subtly behind the evolutionary play of Nature’s forms (physical, vital, and mental), ready to emerge once the ego relinquishes its position. The spark of the psychic being then takes the reins and evolves until it becomes a divine fire in full consciousness:

“The establishment of this true Self is the most difficult yet the most important task before us. The power to hear its faint voice can only be acquired through constant vigilance, and when we perceive its whisper, we must act without hesitation and with firmness. Thus, we will learn to encourage it, and this voice will grow stronger and more powerful until one day, it becomes the recognized and undisputed governor of our lives.”
— J. Krishnamurti, Individual Preparation.

We must become conscious of this voice of the soul, buried deep within, smothered by the clamour of our surface personality. Once the assertion of mental opinions, the sentimentalism of self-centred emotions, the tyranny of vital desires, and the appetites of the body are stilled—silent, without demands, without claims—gently, the liberated inner child, a being of light, will fill our earth with its divine joy.

“Whatever you do, whatever your occupations and activities, the will to find the truth of your being and to unite with it must always be alive and present behind everything you do, everything you feel, everything you think.”
— The Mother